Sunday, April 29, 2018

i know.....

Its been awhile.....
I have been venting on another platform, as this is too known by friends.

so deep dark secret cannot be found here.....
unless i try to reveal it intentionally.


i am not afraid of losing.
but if you lose faith in a person.
u lose trust.

so now....
i am at the point where i am losing my faith in myself
so how can i help myself be that trusted person?

i am not sure too.
just need some self reflecting moments.

that why i feel i need to move back and give myself some space.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

a piece missing

these few days i keep feel like smth is missing.
i guess when people say u complete me, some way or another it's quite true.

Cause i feel u're the missing puzzle in my life.
the correction tape to my error.

Without you by my side, it's just so weird.
food become more bland, my hours spent seems so unfulfilling.

It could be me being emo as p is on its way.

But i dont care, i just wan to say.
I love u and i'm missing every second that u're not with me.


Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Lost appetite ??

its been awhile right ?
Since we spend time apart...

I didn’t had any decent meal today...
only had the sandwich we bought last night...
That’s about the only solid food I had ba...
Drank a lot of water tho...

Do u think I will lose a few kg when u are back ?

I have always told this advice to many friends in trouble for their rs
And I would say
“Don’t rely fully on them, cause if one day if they leave u behind, you would lose everything including yourself.”

Words.... so easily spoken indeed...
When I am caught in my rs I asked myself the same question.
And the answer I had was far from my own advice.

I have relied on him fully...
I have so many lesson that I went through....
but why is it never learnt....
too stubborn?

I spoke to him ytd on our date out...
saying that his friend agree his love for me was far from what he had given to his ex.
Yes... we girls are just stupid and idiot that way.
We like to compare, only through comparison we see what we have and don’t have

And there was a slight change of attitude.
I think he understand that I am trying my best being understanding in all situation
And that even if he has fear being hurt so do I...

I love u yesterday...
I love u still...
Always have....
Always will

Friday, November 17, 2017

Mood seriously affected

I have no other place that i can vent out all my misery.

Cant really post it on any social media platform.
and now even telling friends i dk who i can tell to and who i can trust.

Feeling super lost.
Like the trust i have for you was so so much.
i can trust u in going out late drinking, going overseas with your bros and friends.

But now.....
i just dk how to....
this trust..... is it even broken i dk.
but i can only say i have doubts.
i cant bring myself to trust you fully.

can u teach me how ?

having to be at work now, tears running in my eyes and i am holding it back so strongly.
Cause i am at work.

wanting to get drunk and irresponsible.

想哭但是不能

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

This fragile life

No one knows the meaning of living until you met death in your face.... 

It's the fear you have that allow you to hold hope... 
But don't let the fear of doing anything holds you back... 
If you never try you never know, at least you don't live your life regretting and thinking about smth you could have done

I wan to lead that kind of life, with no regrets...

But.... The fear... 
It overwhelms me... 
Move forward ba